Christmas Poem 2009

14 little ducks sitting in a row,
one fell over and just said ow.

a snowflake fell and landed on his head
an old man passing gave him some bread

the 14th duck waddled to a gutter
on his way to find some butter

3 days later hungry and very cold
Santa picked him up and Duck 14 he did hold

to the North Pole they did head
where Santa gave him buttered bread

every day the duck lacked nothing
he ate everything from bread to pudding

on Christmas Eve Santa began to cry
he bid the fat duck a last goodbye

his trip took him from west to east
and he returned to a delicious duck feast

Santa, Mrs. Claus and all the elves,
and thirteen ducks stuffed themselves

for what seemed like an innocent fall
was a conspiracy between the 13 ducks all

Duck 14 had the time of his life
stuffed his face and shagged Santa's wife!

and what he's happiest about the most
is now he'll haunt them as a ghost!

Cat Poem for Friday

a cat
a cat a cat cat
sat on a mat
asleep or awake
bam bam bam
cat cake

scoop up the cat
slice it, dice it
serve it to a mouse
who lives in your house

big fat mouse
sitting in your house
happy little mouse
fat little mouse
stamp stamp stamp
no more mouse

clean up the mouse
feed it to your dog
the dog sits beside a log
boom
exploding dog
dog on the frog, no more log
dog in the bog, dog fed to the hog
it was a nice dog

sitting in the garden
an elf appears
hello he says
bang bang bang
shoot him in the balls
smalls balls small balls
no balls no balls
bleed to death little elf
he said to himself

flying through the cloud
a noise was loud
green goats falling from the sky
why? oh why?
i could not deny
their destiny was to die
green goats fell, splat splat splat
hit them with a bat
but what about the cat?
dead cat

Shame of Irish History

A true gentleman, humble and articulate spoke of his horror at the hands of those given the responsibility of his care by the Irish state and the Catholic church in Ireland on the RTE current affairs show Questions & Answers on Monday night last.

That he had the ability to be so articulate and well spoken while speaking of those horrors made his piece more striking and silenced everyone on the panel. How will the Irish government respond to this one simple piece of evidence?

The Irish nation is always seeking justice for its people from the British nation but this time the Irish government and Catholic church in Ireland needs to pay the price for its ills. We can then hopefully learn from our mistakes and move on.

There is no more to be said than just watching this video and make your own mind up about how you feel about this shameful chapter in Irish history.

ROG, the Queen and 'Gaelic names'

Mr. Brian Robert Kenney of Baggot St Dublin writes that people who "sign their names in Gaelic...tells us something about their anti-British motivation."

Firstly, lets get down to the base of this subject. Ronan O'Gara did show a lack of respect by his actions when the Queen of England visited the Irish rugby team at Stormont. For sure, Irish people should be mature enough and confident enough to show respect to the head of state of any nation, especially our closest neighbour.


The Queen of England is the head of state of the United Kingdom and should be shown the same respect as the President of Germany, King Carl XVI Gustaf of Sweden or the Emir of Kuwait. Moreso, because the Queen of England is for some of the team mates of Ronan O'Gara, their head of state too.

But Mr. Kenney pushes it too far when he brings in the fact that people sign their name in Gaelic or not. Firstly, the Irish language or any language should have no place in politics. The Irish language is beautiful and becoming ever more popular and trendy with TG4 and new Irish speaking 'celebrities' leading the way forward in this revolution.

There are people from outside of Ireland learning the language too, I myself encountered a Japanese man and an African learning the language at classes recently.

The problem Mr. Kenney is that despite your glee in labeling certain people as bigots is that you yourself are one too. I agree with some of your sentiment about being sick of people pushing their Ireland is not Britain agenda but you've shown yourself to be a bigot on the other side and this is often the problem in these disputes and the way people show their feelings in conversation on these topics.

So, get over yourself and allow people the freedom to choose and speak whatever language they wish and express themselves this way without fear of prejudice from people like you.

For the record, I am a British citizen and an Irish citizen, proud of both (at times, sometimes not too as recent news from both countries brings shame on both nations).

Polish Crew Cutz

What is it with female Eastern European Barbers (are girls allowed to be called barbers?) and their need to butcher ones hair every single time!?

I know that Polish and Slovakian guys walk around for the most part like they have just left army training but surely the girls from the east who come to work in the fine hair dressing establishments of Dublin can see from Irish men that we don't need to be butchered too.

What does the translation of "just a little bit off the top please" mean in Lithuanian?

Even dogs are talking about the recession!

I was up in the Dublin Mountains the other day when I saw this sign, very funny to think of dogs telling sheep they look fat in their wool or that the ESRI has predicted a rate of 17% unemployment next year. The poor sheep will be worried sick!

But fear not, the farmer has a plan, a drastic one at that. He will shoot any of these dogs that are worrying his poor sheep. Drastic times call for drastic measures.

The Alcove - Dar es Salaam

The restaurant seemed to be the only one open on a Saturday night in Dar es Salaam, which is not the most exciting city in the world.

I joined my friends inside the nice looking and potentially atmospheric restaurant. We ordered our food and awaited the Goan Fish Curry, Chow Mein and Chicken Noodle dishes we had ordered in this Indian & Chinese restaurant. Then we waited some more and waited and waited. Then we watched as all of the tables around us, where Indian people sat, were served before us.

Finally the food arrived a full one hour and twenty minutes after we had ordered. The food was average and was more expensive than in Europe. Then they had they audacity to add VAT to the already extortionate prices!

This restaurant is by no means gourmet or top class and wouldn't feature in Europe at all. It is far far too expensive and the service is terrible - the waiters don't seem to be paid much and so don't care either.

My advice - don't eat at Alcove. Try somewhere else, eat Tanzanian food!

Rally against murders in Antrim and Armagh

There is absolutely no reason why people in Dublin, Cork, Limerick and Galway among other towns should not rally against the recent murders in Antrim and Armagh. Thousands are expected to take to the streets today in Belfast, Derry and Newry to protest against recent murders.

ICTU, who are involved in organising these rallies should promote the same in all town centres around the country. They should be promoting this right now as we speak and all political parties in Ireland should be joining with them.

Minimum charge on debit/credit card usage

Well well well, I don't usually eat in O'Briens anymore but I was hungry for a snack so I had a poke in the door to see what they had but immediately saw the massive sign they had up "MINIMUM CHARGE €10 ON DEBIT/CREDIT CARD".

Now I do not understand this policy. Why, oh why, would anyone refuse business just because it is on a card? It makes people like me walk away and it loses them income. It does not help the economy in any way.


In Holland, they have a system called Chipknip where your chip acts as cash, you can put money onto the chip part of the card and spend it in stores, any amount whatsoever.

I asked in one shop, a Spar in Glasnevin, why they wouldn't accept cards for transactions under €10 and the shop assistant was bewildered. He said he wasn't sure but that he thought it was because it meant more work for them at the end of the day so they tried to minimise transactions on card to save them work.

Hopefully, Ireland, the Ireland of the Celtic Tiger, will realise that we have not only to be at the same level as other countries around the world in how we embrace technology but we should try to be ahead of them. Let's take the lead in embracing technology that accelerates our economic wellbeing.

iPhone 2.5G - Pros & Cons

Pros:

• It allows you to surf the internet easily
• The camera is high quality and works well
• The clock functionality is good (although it would be nice to be able to set a song as the alarm)
• Youtube works well
• The map and direction functionality is great (although limited if you don't have data as part of your deal)
• The Notes function is very handy
  

Cons:

• No MMS, it lets you take photos but you can't then send them to someone via MMS
• Can't forward text messages
• Can't delete one text message, only a whole conversation
• It lets you enter contacts company details but doesn't let you list the contacts by company
• Vodafone doesn't support it
• The phone freezes (after owning it less than 12 months!) quite often and sometimes it seems out of coverage but indicates otherwise
  
• You can't set songs on the iPod as ring tones
• There is no video phone capability
  

Overall I would recommend that you look at the other products available out there and see whether they have the missing functionality. It seems that Apple didn't make any attempt to solve these with the move to the 3G iPhone which is a pity. I would be ditching mine and probably moving to a new Nokia or the Blackberry Storm except that I am not in the economic position to do so.

New York Post Cartoon Apology Unnecessary

The New York Post today issued an apology for the controversial cartoon that has sparked much anger among some people.

Those commentators who have overreacted to a cartoon that is clearly innocent and meant to mock those politicians and lawmakers who wrote the much flawed stimulus bill in the United States. Their overreaction has in fact heightened racial tension and highlighted racial stereotypes. For them to assume that a chimp represents Barack Obama is to have racial sentiment themselves and instead of ignoring it and seeing it for what it is, it only gives ammunition to those who wish to further propagate those stereotypes.

The cartoon was topical and recent, taking influence from a recent news story about police officers shooting dead a chimp that had attacked a poor unfortunate lady. The cartoon was also relevant to the political debate about the strength of the stimulus bill, yes championed by Barack Obama, but not written by him. Does anyone really think he sits in the Oval Office typing out a huge document like this? Absolutely not.

The stimulus bill is flawed. It has provisions which were inserted to satisfy certain politicians who would not support it otherwise. It also brings into question the strength of the economics upon which it is based, that of spending money just for the sake of it to put more liquidity into the economy and hence stimulate it.

The good news is that Barack Obama is a black politician who has moved on from the reactionary angry politics of Rev. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson and is more conciliatory and is a politician and not a black politician. This is the process by which racism will be removed from society and that is why he is a natural leader. Anyone still looking for further apology or clarification from the Post needs to get over themselves and move on. History is history, lets get on with the future and help restart the economy.

Buying a car in the USA

I recently bought a car in the US - as a foreign national. It took me a while to get over the complexities of what I needed but in the end it is not a difficult process. Once you know what you are doing. This blog could apply to anyone who wants to do a road trip across the USA or if you are there for a summer or short period.

Well, here is what you need (in California anyway):

1. Money - have a budget, you can get a cheap car

2. An address, friend, relative, doesn't matter

That's it!

What are the steps:

1. Find perfect car. Use Autotrader, Craigslist or another source, call the people on the ad. Make sure the car is not salvage i.e. clean title. Make sure it is currently registered and ensure that it has had a recent smog test (California only I think?). You can also use Car Survey to tell you what people have said about their cars. The general rule that I found was that American cars are generally unreliable and that foreign cars will last longer. One car, a 2000 Ford Taurus drove well in test drive but when we looked at Car Survey we realised that this could bring problems for us. We narrowed our search to Honda and Nissan in the end.


2. Check Kelley Blue Book value. This is a site that can tell the approximate value of the car you want to purchase based on the specifications that you enter. Remember that you are going on what the seller tells you. Normally a dealer will charge more than a private seller so there is that to consider but a dealer may give you a guarantee or some sort of comeback.

3. Check the history of the car. There are a couple of sites online that charge a small fee to check the history of the car. Carfax is one of the most well known. You will need the cars VIN - ask the seller - which is the Vehicle ID number and in theory was given to each mechanic every time there was an issue with the car. It will tell you if the car is stolen, how many owners it has had and some other useful information.

4. Make your purchase. Ensure you get a signed receipt from the seller, doesn't have to be official but just something for your records. They will sign over the registration title to you which you will need.

5. Register the car in your name. You can make a DMV appointment online. Take the title to your local DMV (this is for California - may be different in other states) and have the car registered in your name.

6. Insure yourself to drive the car. If you are a foreign national you can get insurance. You do not need a social security number for this. All you need is the VIN, your name, address, driving license details - from your own country obviously and money to pay. It will cost slightly more than California residents with state license but not that much more. Do not use Guru, they are inefficient and unreliable. I recommend Calico Insurance but remember there are many insurance companies who will compete for your quote. The broker earns a commission from the sale. Make sure your cover is what you require and understand the terminology such as "15/20/15" and what this means.

7. You are free to drive if you have made all of the steps above. Remember in the US that you can turn right on red at most traffic lights, that a 4 way stop sign yields right of way to whoever got there first or if you meet at the same time, to the person on the right. In Los Angeles at least, the traffic runs smooth and there are traffic lights at almost every second block so there is no need to speed as you will not get there quicker.

Parking is a pain! Really, an absolute pain. The Parking Enforcement people are really really pedantic and have absolutely no mercy. They would give their dying mother a ticket if she was one centimetre outside the line. So, park in the same direction as traffic - seriously! Park inside the white lines of the spaces. Always read the street signs. Park within 30cm of the kerb and always set a reminder about a metre - cos they will give you a ticket. One tip to remember, Americans are lazy and don't want to walk so you can often find free parking one block away from where you are going so have a little drive around.

At nighttime you will fall mercy to the scam of valet parking. Tip a minimum i.e. as in the 50c or $1 difference that the $9.50 valet costs. If they want to complain about their pay they can ask their employer to give them more of the $9.50 rip off charge they're getting to park at their feckin restaurant!

Citywest Hotel

Just a big shout out to the Citywest Hotel who displayed fantastic customer service to me recently. I was staying there for a wedding and I had to iron a white shirt. Some gobshite staying in the room before us had ironed something that left some sort of black material all over the iron which then melted onto and into the material of my shirt. I don't blame the hotel for this, it was the guest who stayed previously who didn't inform them when it happened.

 

I called reception and they had somebody take the shirt away to dryclean it. However, this was not successful and they subsequently refunded me in full for the shirt and sent a letter of apology. Fantastic!

La Clique

I went to see La Clique at the Dublin Fringe Festival last night. What an awesome spectacle of contortion, feats of acrobatic strength and balance and comedy wrapped in one.

The highlights of the show for me were Michael Angelo, the possibly Eastern European crooner who entertained us with his penchant for poetic song and his irresistible personality as well as Mario Queen of the Circus, a Queen singing juggler and Frodo the Rubber Man from Norway, the man with the many double joints. Finally a mention for the men in suits, I should say no more but their performance was incredible.

If you get a chance to see it in Dublin or elsewhere, then do.

The demise of Youtube - will DailyMotion fill its place?

I'm most likely not the first person to get on his high horse about this whatever the forum. I'll also most likely not be the last. What is it with youtube and blocking video these days? And worse what is it with people posting up 'video's but then only having text and images - not real video at all?

As an example there have been several incidents throughout the Olympic Games that are worth watching again and again. Obviously the IOC have some form of copyright on these videos but surely the internet is there to get around this and to let us see a clip of Phelps breaking records, Bolt's amazing sprints or the Cuban taekwondo kick on the referee!

Alas it is not to be and while there are some funny or interesting home produced video on youtube, watching sports events after they have happened will always be something that people expect to be able to do on the internet. When searching Google (owners of Youtube) for this video content it is mysteriously not there, most likely as they don't want people to go anywhere but Youtube or Google Video for it.

Hulu has emerged as another strong contender for what will work with video online. In the US, ABC screen LOST online after it has been shown on TV. This is an issue with actors at the moment and the bone of much contention in terms of the SAG strike but for the consumer it is progress and something that should be championed sooner. Hopefully, ABC or their counterpart in Ireland, will be able to screen LOST online outside of the US for those viewers in Ireland who may have missed it on TV. They just need to work out the terms. In the meantime people will continue to watch it on surfthechannel at no expense to them and no profit to ABC.

Olympic Games

Try your own version of the Olympic Games just like this dude:

GYMNASTIQUE PEKIN 2008 (REMI GAILLARD)
by nqtv

Supervalu Cornflakes

As we in Ireland finally begin to realise that we've been ripped off by the supermarkets and other retailers for years but only have ourselves to blame it is time to begin making note of some of the bargains that are out there.

Not only have a third of Irish shoppers abandoned in some for the larger retailers such as Tesco and Dunnes for Lidl and Aldi but they've begun to shop for non brand goods too.

Recently I found a 750g box of corn flakes in Supervalu for EUR1.87. In Centra a 500g box of Kellogg's corn flakes on Special Offer was EUR2.37.

You're probably thinking; hey aren't those non brand corn flakes usually tasteless and cardboardlike? Believe it or not, these corn flakes are actually delicious! I was pleasantly surprised and as long as Super Valu are selling these I'll be buying them instead of Kellogg's.

America's hurling messiah

There was a really interesting article published in the sleaziest tabloid of them all, the Sunday Independent, yesterday. It's great to see some recognition for Dave Olson and the work of the Milwaukee Hurling Club. Let's hope the GAA can put some more faith in the international aspect of the game which is growing thanks to the great work of people like Dave and others in Europe, Australia and Asia. Promotion the game among locals is the key to the success of these games abroad. The New York County Board needs to take on board the work done here and follow suit instead of allowing clubs to pay for county players from Ireland to fly over to the US taking them out of competitions that they think they are too good for such as the Christy Ring Cup and the Nicky Rackard Cup. If they were too good for those competitions they wouldn't have been knocked out the Championship. The NAGAA along with the GAA needs to enforce some rules minimising the amount of transfers or better still enforce a quota on local citizens in each jurisdiction i.e. US citizens in the NAGAA, UK citizens in Britain and especially London and so on.

Not to maintain a negative slant only here the GAA have made great strides in recent years in recognising the importance and significance of the game internationally. Not only will new flair and skills be brought to the game, it will benefit from immensely, but it is something that needs to happen. The monotony of the Leinster Hurling Championship for example where Kilkenny are in a spell of domination and the Leinster Council are considering holding it outside of Croke Park, is one reason to generate new teams worldwide who can compete eventually at the highest level. Another reason to promote the game internationally is the increased immigrant population in Ireland. As these people develop skills in Gaelic Games shouldn't they have somewhere to take them should they decide to return home?

Just one final point on the article, it was an article on Hurling but independent.ie have included it in 'Other Sports'.

Gentlemanly Behaviour

An interesting article from the London Times online today about gentlemanly behaviour. Bad manners and rudeness are a pet hate of mine in all forms, obnoxiousness, arrogance and any other form of superiority complex that people portray. Modern Ireland and especially her economic success has generated a lot of these traits in some people. Plus, being a gentleman will ensure you end up with a lady and not a tramp ; )

Timbledon

Bingo once had a really funny idea to go to Wimbledon when Tim Henman was playing and shout "Timmmmaaaaayyyyyyyyy" instead of the standard "Come on, Tim" that his fans did for years.

 

I always thought that was a really funny idea. However, funnier still (for me anyway), would be to go to Wimbledon this year and at an Andy Murray game shout "Come on Tim!" all dressed in English gear...